A fun guest post today from Sweet Tween, my 11 year old daughter. She’s giving her best advice for helping moms understand and love their pre-teens. Tweens can be hard to deal with because they are growing up fast and yet still a kid in many ways. Hope these help! I’m definitely gonna stick some of these to her someday . . . as I’m sure she will to me too. (P.S. I did not help her write these. It’s all her own)
Hi! I’m Sweet Tween, Lisa’s daughter, and I have some Mommy Tips for you while my mom is busy packing. They’re mostly for moms with kids 9+, but if you don’t have kids this age, it’s great to be prepared!
Tip 1# Love Your kids and Show It
Okay, every parent loves their kids even just a TEENY TINY bit. (After all, Darth Vader didn’t kill Luke, did he?)
But HOW do you SHOW your love? Seriously, the simple things matter a lot. Even just a kiss at bedtime. I know I asked my mom for like 500 kisses when I was little! But tweens and teens are harder! Sometimes they don’t WANT a hug, kiss, or whatever. They like to spend time with you. Talk with them. If they come home crying, don’t ignore them!!!! Ask them,”Are you okay?” Tell you child what you love about them. (Us tweens LOVE to know you think we’re awesome.)
Tip 2# Don’t Spoil Your Kid
To not spoil your kids, you’ve got to know what spoiling is. When you spoil your child, it means you give them way too much of something. If you spoil any kid, they don’t appreciate the little things as much.
Tip 3# Be Fun! Let Go of Some Things
One thing moms seem to worry about a whole lot is if the house is clean. Agh! Who even cares????? I know that nobody wants to live in a pigsty, but if you can see your face in something you’ve washed, that’s way too much work!!!! (unless you just washed the mirror of course. If you couldn’t see your face in it, I’d be worried!)
It’s OKAY to let the house get a little messy. Kids grow up! The floor will stay there, I promise. The dust on the shelf can wait. Spend time with your kids….DON’T CLEAN SO MUCH, or blog, text, work, whatever! So get yourself off that chair and talk with your preteen, or teen, take a walk with them, play the latest iPhone app with them! Go ask them how their day was. Go take your daughter (if you have one) shopping! Your kid or kids will love it.
Tip 4# Limits are Okay as Long as They’re Not Too Strict
Restrictions are okay! You’ve got to give your preteen, or any kid some rules, or they will go wild. But don’t make your rules and restrictions too complex. If your kid feels like they can’t do anything,they’ll get angry. I totally hate that feeling of,”Mom doesn’t let me do anything!!!”
Some good restrictions for preteens:
- No YouTube without adult supervision
- No chat rooms, Facebook, or Twitter, e.t.c.
- No all-day media
- Watch PG-13 movies with your consent, please no rated R (they are not meant for us!)
Tip 5# Please Try to Not Get Too Angry
When you are in any fight, try to keep your cool. Please don’t yell! This isn’t a very good idea. Sometimes it makes your children, (excluding maybe a few teenagers..) afraid of you sometimes. A lot of times, their feelings get hurt, and they feel as if you don’t love them. (I’m being really serious. Kids really do think stuff like that.) Take a deep breath and count to ten. Even ten million, if you’re that frustrated. Walk away from the situation, and relax for awhile in your bedroom. Seriously, go outside and scream! (I’ve done this before! And….it works, for me at least. Try it. It might help you.)
Please try to stay calm. Don’t stress. You can’t be mad forever, no matter how aggravating the problem is. (I try so hard to be mad forever….and…I just can’t do it.)
So those are my tips on how to be a better mommy. They are guaranteed to strengthen your relationship with your child and make you happier. Sweet Tween is OUT!
